Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

I was hoping that the other STBE bloggers would pick up some of the slack here and recap some of the days on the trip, but alas, that apparently isn't going to happen.

Anyhoo, the Shooters took off fairly early on Sunday, as they had an early afternoon flight to Santa Barbara. Mike had drunkenly told me the night before that he was going down to the strip to hang out with Christine and Steve, but didn't remember saying that to me at all when we told him we were planning to head out to the strip to go to the Excalibur Buffet. He said he didn't want to go to the Strip, and was gonna go gamble with Ryan while we all went.

So it was me, Binh, Gabe, Jose, and Dan, as the married Skidmores had also taken off that morning to head back to Thousand Oaks. We stopped at a gift shop on our way to the Deuce stop and grabbed some bottled water and Jose got a couple of tallboys for the road.

We know the Deuce is slow, but this had to be the slowest Deuce ride we had ever taken! Our first clue that it was gonna be a long ride came when the g-d driver stopped for TEN MINUTES! at the Hilton Grand Vacations Club. There was no one at the Deuce stop waiting to get on and no one got off the Deuce!

The g-d driver proceeded to stop at every g-d Deuce stop whether it warranted it or not and it took FOREVER!

We had finally had it and got off at New York, New York where I was about to wet my pants. I sprinted to the nearest bathroom and then we made our way through the hotel and across the skyway to the 'bur where we headed straight to the buffet. In front of us in line was a group of people who had just been to (and in) a wedding. That is right! Wedding reception at a buffet!

This is the very same buffet where I was told to "be a lady! You need to act like a lady!" Helleau, as evidenced back then by the KEG of champagne, and by the wedding party in front of us in line, THERE ARE NO LADIES AT THE EXCALIBUR BUFFET!!!

The 'bur buffet is all self-serve. No one brings you drinks or anything, which is kind of nice, because you aren't at the mercy of a waiter/waitress to get your drinks. Unfortunately, there was no champagne brunch! WTD!? We went there for a keg of champagne! They did, however, offer gatorade as a drink choice, which was awesome, since we had all drank a lot at the lady MJ show the night before.

We all agreed that the 'bur buffet was much better than our usual Main Street Station buffet and filled up quite a few plates before making our way to Mandalay Bay to get some Volcanoes at Rumjungle.

On our way, we saw a guy wearing a really bad wig. I don't know if I was able to capture how bad it was, but thank God Gabe was sitting next to him on the tram so I was able to get a picture somewhat on the sly.



Anyhoo, we finally got to Rumjungle (after walking the wrong direction, which we do every year) and ordered Volcanoes. Apparently, they aren't on the menu anymore as the waiter who looked like McSteamy said, "oh, you guys know about Volcanoes, huh?!" Then he walked up to the bartender and said, "4 Volcanoes," to which the bartender replied, "what the hell is a Volcano?" McSteamy ended up having to make the Volcanoes himself. Binh told Dan that Volcanoes "have 12 kinds of rum!" Which isn't true. There are 4 rums, 3 of which are 151 proof. Needless to say, I only made it halfway through mine. I always forget how strong those things are. Woof.

After our Volcanoes, we saw a dried out fountain and began launching pennies into it while making wishes. Jose was taking a bathroom break, we had to find some way to entertain ourselves. We also saw a parade of douchebags (seriously, they looked like Gotti brothers) walking in from the pool area.


Apparently, there are girls out there who find this look attractive! All of the d-bags we saw had d-bag girlfriends!

Anyhoo, we decided we should probably forgo our annual trek to the Tropicana to get our coupon book and cash in all the drink-related ones so we could get back to Fremont Street at a reasonable time to say goodbye to Ryan before he left. Alas, we were too late and missed him, so we had to text our goodbyes.

We stopped at the same gift shop we had stopped at before and got a 3 pack of Bud Light tallboys and some more bottled water and met up with Mike at Binion's. Binh fell asleep and blamed her lack of appetite for booze later on in the evening on our allowing her to sleep. For the record, I tried to wake her up twice and she looked piiiiiiissed!, so I let her keep sleeping.

Mike and I were the only people who brought clothes for former fatty night, so we went ahead and put our giant pants on over our regular pants and made our way to our annual fancy steak dinner at Tony Roma's. Binh ordered the $12.99 steak and lobster tail special and none of us could figure out what cut of meat they had given her. We called it the mystery steak. My ribs didn't stay with me long, and Mike and I took that opportunity to ditch our giant pants back at Binion's before we all settled in at the Golden Gate for penny slots while Jose and Dan played craps. We also left briefly to get some stiff drinks at Mermaids before calling it a night. I had been in Vegas for far too long and was ready to go home, as was Mike, for the same reason.

Binh complained that she was ready to party, but her nap ruined it for her, haha. Gabe also retired to his room, because he had a long drive ahead of him in the morning.

That was basically the rest of the trip! SLEEP!

the Deuce ride home

Mike had long since ditched us after proclaiming he didn't even care about Michael Jackson anymore.

After Lady Jacko was done, we decided we had no real reason to stay at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone (we had also finished our rum, too, and weren't about to pay club prices for cocktails). The dude who knew nothing and cleared tables was also quite rude to us when we were leaving. The second we stood up and it was apparent we were leaving, he was practically pushing us out of the way so he could clear the table.

We made our way to the Deuce and some drunk girls posed for pictures with Gabe. He was a big hit in his bathrobe and wizard hat combo. I think people really enjoyed seeing a grown man walk around Vegas in a bathrobe. I know we all did.

Anyhoo, we got on the first Deuce we saw and went to the seating area upstairs (as we always do). When we got up there, a sassy black lady in the front started taking pictures (and why not, the bus was suddenly being invaded by magicians). We told her there were more on the way, so she kept her camera at the ready.

Sitting in front of me was some weird girl who we couldn't tell if she was crazy, retarded, or on drugs. She was acting very strangely, and tried to steal Brian's rabbit and my magic wand.

I'm trying to remember when we started cheering things on the bus. I think someone made some comment about Jerry Springer, because someone had mentioned a baby-daddy, and I was all, "no, that's Maury. Maury is all about giant babies and baby-daddies." The sassy black lady was all, "that's right!" And everyone started chanting "Maury! Maury! Maury!"

After that, we were chanting all kinds of random things, and the sassy black lady and her friends told us to slow down so they could figure out what we were saying so they could join in. I think the chant they were having a hard time with was "ass & titties!"

At one point, some people were getting off the Deuce and we were chanting, "you get off! you get off!" At the end of every chant, someone would yell, "and titties!" Toward the end of the Deuce ride, a Euro-couple got off and looked totally annoyed with us, and the weird/crazy/drugged out girl started yelling, "you get off!" So then we all joined in and were pointing at them not realizing that we needed to get off the Deuce, too. At the end of that chant, we yelled, "and titties!" Then the sassy black lady yelled, "SMALL titties!" and we all cackled. Then we all stood up and chanted, "we're getting off! we're getting off! and titties!"

Once we were all de-Deuced, the sassy black lady and her friends started chanting, "fuck the Deuce!" so we joined in and we were all flipping off the Deuce driver. I'm not sure why, but it seemed like the right thing to do. Maybe they were mad because the Deuce driver walked up the stairs at one of the stops and told us to watch our language.

Either way, it was the most entertaining Deuce ride ever.

Shoot, Gabe, Binh, can you guys expand on this? I can't remember why we started chanting!

STBE ground transportation

***I'll be updating this post as I find out when people will be arriving***

Please make note of these times so you can find someone to share a cab with or grab a shuttle if you will be alone. I'll be shuttling in since I'll be arriving 2 days before everyone else - $6 is much cheaper than a $20+ cab ride.

Click here for a list of shuttle prices.

I'll be arriving on Wednesday (8/26) at about 3PM, and will be departing on Monday at 1:15PM.

Binh will be arriving on Friday at about 9PM, and is departing on Monday at 1:20PM.

The Shooters are arriving at 5:15PM on Friday and are departing on Sunday at 2PM.

Gabe has indicated that he'll be driving, so check with him throughout the day to see when he thinks he might be arriving. Last year, if you'll recall, he rolled into town at about the same time Binh and I arrived at the airport and picked us up before we continued on to a night of debauchery and Binh falling asleep (and vomiting) in the bathtub.

Stephanie, Brian, and Dan will also be driving and are aiming for an 8pm arrival.

Jose is driving and will be getting to Vegas either really late Friday night or early Saturday morning. He's leaving early Monday "depending on how drunk we get Sunday night."

Mike is arriving at 8PM on Thursday night (bonus night for the Sugar Twins! what what!), and departing at 4:10PM on Monday.

I think this covers everyone! Oh, Mike's friend Ryan is getting in sometime around 5 on Friday...maybe he can meet up with the Shoots? Other than that, I think everyone is getting in at totally different times.

T. Fox Sighting

Last fall he was performing regularly at Trader Vic's at Planet Hollywood (isn't that where the Harmon Theatre is? - perhaps STBE should just be there in the future to save on Deduecing.). Not sure if he's still there now. Here's a picture I found of Mr. Fox slowly backing away from some hammered chick he does not want to mess with.

"Get back, woman!"

Rumor has it, he now performs with Mama Fox - his actual mother! That can't be true, but I want so badly to believe.

Saturday in Vegas....

OK, so Binh and I are on AIM trying to remember what we did. God, grad school really makes it hard to be able to blog long stories about what we did almost a month ago.

I think we started off the day fairly late by going to the McDonald's downstairs at the Plaza. We all ordered off the dollar menu because we aren't suckers. We then made our way down to the Deuce stop where we all purchased OFFICIAL Deuce passes for the day. That was where we saw the dude with the bad combover.



When we finally boarded the Deuce (if I recall correctly, people were having problems figuring out how to buy Deuce passes? I don't know. We finally told them to use cash since it was taking forever with credit cards.) it took us forever to make it to our destination. The Deuce used to be a relatively quick way to get up and down the strip, but now that they've branded it "the Deuce" more people know about it, therefore, it's more crowded. Then people insist on requesting every available stop. Anyhoo, it was taking forever, I remember Jose being really annoyed.

I think we got off at Excalibur and took the moving sidewalk to Mandalay Bay where we all made a beeline to Rumjungle where we each ordered Volcanoes.


Here are some random dipshits drinking Volcanoes. Because it's apparently not obvious, we don't know these people. I googled "rumjungle volcano" and did an image search. These are the dipshits I chose.

After the Volcanoes (I'm not sure what's in them, I know it involves several kinds of rum, a few of them being 151 proof and some sort of juice and grenadine) we went into the casino for a bit. It was there that I became a multi-hundredaire by winning $200 on the penny slots. I know, I know, I could have won 25x that had I played max bets. I was already playing max lines, isn't that high roller-y enough?



After that...hmmm....what did we do? Oh, we went to the Trop to get our free pull and coupon books...which included a free $5 bet on roulette. We all promptly lost. But it was free, so it's not like we could complain. We also got two-for-one drinks. I think Gabe didn't want his coupon, so I used it to get more beers.



We continued to work our way up the strip, stopping to see the lions at MGM (they were sleeping, yet there was still a huge crowd) and then ate at the food court next to the Coke museum. After that, we hopped on the Deuce and went to O'Shea's to see if there were any midgets running around (there weren't) and to see what the beer pong thing was. It was pretty lame, I thought people would be playing beer pong for money, but they weren't. They were just playing beer pong in the middle of a casino.

I tried my luck at that wheel of fortune game, you know, the one with the different dollar bills on it? Anyhoo, I turned my back and the lady spun it and it went like a quarter of a turn and she was all, "oh, you lose." WTD??? Jose is my witness, I was ripped off! Shortly after that, we caught the Deuce and headed back to Fremont Street so we could get in our Butt Rock clothes.

to be continued...I swear!

Here's something to tide you over.