Sunday, September 6, 2009

the Deuce ride home

Mike had long since ditched us after proclaiming he didn't even care about Michael Jackson anymore.

After Lady Jacko was done, we decided we had no real reason to stay at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone (we had also finished our rum, too, and weren't about to pay club prices for cocktails). The dude who knew nothing and cleared tables was also quite rude to us when we were leaving. The second we stood up and it was apparent we were leaving, he was practically pushing us out of the way so he could clear the table.

We made our way to the Deuce and some drunk girls posed for pictures with Gabe. He was a big hit in his bathrobe and wizard hat combo. I think people really enjoyed seeing a grown man walk around Vegas in a bathrobe. I know we all did.

Anyhoo, we got on the first Deuce we saw and went to the seating area upstairs (as we always do). When we got up there, a sassy black lady in the front started taking pictures (and why not, the bus was suddenly being invaded by magicians). We told her there were more on the way, so she kept her camera at the ready.

Sitting in front of me was some weird girl who we couldn't tell if she was crazy, retarded, or on drugs. She was acting very strangely, and tried to steal Brian's rabbit and my magic wand.

I'm trying to remember when we started cheering things on the bus. I think someone made some comment about Jerry Springer, because someone had mentioned a baby-daddy, and I was all, "no, that's Maury. Maury is all about giant babies and baby-daddies." The sassy black lady was all, "that's right!" And everyone started chanting "Maury! Maury! Maury!"

After that, we were chanting all kinds of random things, and the sassy black lady and her friends told us to slow down so they could figure out what we were saying so they could join in. I think the chant they were having a hard time with was "ass & titties!"

At one point, some people were getting off the Deuce and we were chanting, "you get off! you get off!" At the end of every chant, someone would yell, "and titties!" Toward the end of the Deuce ride, a Euro-couple got off and looked totally annoyed with us, and the weird/crazy/drugged out girl started yelling, "you get off!" So then we all joined in and were pointing at them not realizing that we needed to get off the Deuce, too. At the end of that chant, we yelled, "and titties!" Then the sassy black lady yelled, "SMALL titties!" and we all cackled. Then we all stood up and chanted, "we're getting off! we're getting off! and titties!"

Once we were all de-Deuced, the sassy black lady and her friends started chanting, "fuck the Deuce!" so we joined in and we were all flipping off the Deuce driver. I'm not sure why, but it seemed like the right thing to do. Maybe they were mad because the Deuce driver walked up the stairs at one of the stops and told us to watch our language.

Either way, it was the most entertaining Deuce ride ever.

Shoot, Gabe, Binh, can you guys expand on this? I can't remember why we started chanting!

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